My journey of battling depression

Well as per title, another note to self is to be POSITIVE!

Been like 9 months since I blogged and those old blog posts are depressing like hell lol.
With those negative and sad posts, suicidal ones as well, definitely got me deep in thoughts.
Anywayyyyyy, good news is that I'm finally back to my old normal being and I'm happy with that! :D

Depression and stress were such shit but human's have to shit through out life right?
Came to know that stress is inevitable and so is depression.
This whole 9 months was a roller coaster ride and full of ups and downs.
Studies and final year thesis ain't some easy pie either.

I learned that to overcome stress, there's so much ways!


1. Surround yourself with happy people! 

I'm blessed with friends that are such jokers and always made me smile. They are cheerful, funny and never fail to make me laugh :D I would like to thank my Facebook newsfeed as well for entertainment and jokes I laughed so hard to. Laughter is definitely the best medicine yo!


2. Always speak out your mind. 

Don't be afraid to share out your feelings. I am one that was so full of negative energy and many of my friends agreed that. Since then, I was so afraid to share out my negative feelings, complains and how bad I really felt. Why was I afraid? It's because I won't want them to be saying 

"Oh look, Eloise is complaining again"

"Don't think too much"

"Don't so negative, think positively"

 These are the common verses I heard and to be honest, I hated it and hated myself for it. I don't want to be a nuisance or an annoying mosquito bite that people are dreading to get rid of and hence, I kept it to myself. 

Everyone need someone to be there listening. Thank God that I have my bae with me, Mee Lai, Jackson and many others who tend to keep giving me encouragements and strong support to hold me back up again. I owe you guys!

3. Shop, shop, shop

I am one who had been running business online (my store was up on Zalora! Another achievement unlocked!). I was so busy earning money that I forgot how to spend it -_- I came to realize that shopping is indeed overwhelming. I have been shopping like mad last week both online and offline and I blame it on sales :/ Not something that I would be proud of but I definitely feel happier rewarding myself! After all these months of earning, I'm finally buying something for myself although its just a pair of RM6 slippers from Cotton On, RM15 organizer from Typo and whatnot. To work hard is to reward. 

4. Be happy of what you have

Sometimes I came upon sad posts of others on Facebook, people that were losing people that meant so much for them. I felt a pang on my face that people have much lesser of what I have and yet I'm thinking myself as the most pitiful person in the world. I did not appreciate what I have nor did I realize what I have. All I saw was some gloomy, dark space with me in it and I was there alone (Depression can really do some cruel shit -.-) I read a lot of these sad stories of others to remind myself that I'm way blessed (I mean no bad intentions okay). I even copy pasted those stuff on my stickypad so that I read it when I catch a glance of it to keep it in my head. 

These are just some examples that I could think of right now.
I was a person chasing for perfection and achievements in life, which in my case is money and studies. I neglected and sacrificed my happiness for it.

I was too busy planning for future but did not plan for tomorrow. A selfish bitch who thinks for myself and myself only. A bad tempered lady that shouldn't be categorized under lady too -_-
But I'm glad that all these happened in the past. What matters most is right now, I am constantly trying to change that negativity of mine and be a happier person.

It was the little things in life that matters most.

The things that you love doing, you found yourself doing it
The people you love so deeply saying "I love you"
The precious moments captured with your phone camera

How long did that take you to realize these beautiful things? It took me more than a year.
A year was a long time that I had wasted but a lesson for me too.
I'm glad that I'm being a happier person now, doing the things I like, travelling and so much more!

Life can always be better.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Love,
Eloise